There’s More to Living Than Being Alive…

Addictions fill the table where the family used to sit
And conversate… conversate to the sounds
To the sounds of the record player
With its jumping needle and the lights that grow dim over time


Hey, guess what… I changed the name of my blog!

I did this a little bit ago, but I never got around to actually telling you all WHY I did.  There are a couple of reasons… one of which being “Because I felt like it.”  And really, I could leave it at that, because this is my blog and the only person that really has to be happy with it at the end of the day is me… but there are other reasons I changed it, and so I figured I’d go through them in a blog today.

The first real reason that I changed my blog name is because I started it over a year ago when I was first going through the Miss Metaverse Joke… I mean… Miss Metaverse Pageant.  It was my first pageant, and in looking to gain sponsors to help me along my journey I realized I had nothing to really offer designers.  I was a no-name new model that couldn’t offer them marketing by my name alone… and the Pageant was in it’s first year, so it’s not like they would gain recognition by being involved.  I didn’t have a store to offer to collaborate with them, or a real business of my own to offer them discounts on anything.  I didn’t work with a mall rental of any kind to offer them shop space.  I was LOST as to what I could tell designers to help a scared, brand new model get through her first pageant.  So I offered advertising via a blog.  I’d had one for dancing awhile back and so I knew roughly what I was doing… it was just a matter of getting started.  I didn’t actually anticipate falling in love with it so much.  I honestly thought I was just going to blog for the year of my title-holding (Miss Metaverse Greece, regardless of not winning the pageant, we all DID still hold our country titles) and then drop it.

Because of the temporary time that I planned on holding my blog and because of why it was started in the first place, “Confessions of a First-Time Pageant Model” seemed really appropriate at the time.

But the more I started the blog and the more I went to classes and learned about the importance of blogging in the fashion community, the more I got into it.  And I love being able to write as a creative outlet.. so I just kinda… kept going.  Even when shortly after the pageant began, my title was “taken” from me, I just kept wanting to blog more and more.

And now, with it being over a year after the blog started, and with me being no longer a “first-time pageant model”, I felt the name was no longer appropriate.

As for why I changed the name to what I did, see, that’s an interesting story…


See, I’m weird about what I name parcels of land where I live.  Well, first of all, I’m weird about SIMS I move to… price or no price, the sim name needs to mean something to me.  Things like “Magical”, “Redemption” etc etc.  It has to mean something to me if I’m going to make my home there.

And then when I choose a parcel name… THAT has to mean something to me too. Again, it’s my home.  It should be something that means something to me.

I was going through pictures the other day, looking for one in particular of a wedding set I’d used for a past collaring ceremony that looked like a bad-ass set of ruins, when I ran across a picture titled “Taken at Alexithymia”.

At one point when I lived by myself, I apparently named a parcel of mine “Alexithymia”… after the Anberlin song that I’m blogging today.  Or, at least, that’s what I thought it was named after.  I love the song, and Anberlin is one of my favourite bands.  But I knew there had to be more of a reason behind it than that.  This was awhile ago, so I couldn’t just remember off the top of my head… we all know how shitty my memory is.  But I knew there had to be a bigger significance of the name.

So, I went to my good friend, Dictinary.Com… and this is what it said:

“difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses.”

And I’ll do you one better… this is the “Medical Dictionary” definition listed on the same page:

“Inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner.”

This… this is me to a T.  And while most of you find me outspoken and sometimes brash… ok, a lot of times brash… when it comes to true emotions.. like how I felt when that douchebag said he hopes I die… or when someone stated to me that they find my being bald in SL to be a “meaningless symbolic gesture” and that it doesn’t mean shit… I tend to just… hold it in until I can do one of two things.

Dance… or style.

And somehow, when I can do one of those two things, the words come secondary.  When I dance, I choose the music that fits how I’m feeling… I choose the animations… the costuming… the hair… everything… and THEN I can write the words.  And putting them all together lets me be able to heal and express myself more appropriately than if I were to just try and speak or write about what was going on.

Same with styling… when I can throw together an outfit based on how I feel at that moment… suddenly I can take a few pictures, bring them into photoshop, bring them into a blog… and just… write.  Suddenly the words come.

And it’s an amazingly freeing feeling.

That is Alexithymia.  It is a medical/psychological condition.  And I guess I can add it to my list of many ailments.  *Chuckles*

And so… the name of my blog has become and will remain… “Alexithymia – Feeling in Fashion.”

Because this is me.  And this is what I do.  If you don’t like it, you’re free to read elsewhere.


*~* There’s More To Living Than Being Alive… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Maya (Natural; Freckles) – Aimi
Eyes: Fantasy Soul Eyes (Right Eyes Has Texture Change) – Folly
Hair: NONE!  Click HERE for info on Relay for Life of Second Life!
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier (hands & feet): French Manicure Pastels Set (Magenta) – Nailed It
Teeth: Open Mouth Pro – PXL Creations (Using STANDARD Hud)
Dress: It’s Worth! (Pink) – Dead Dollz  @ Penumbra Fashion Week
Jeans: She Gotta Donk Flare Jeans (Blue 2) – AlterEgo
Feet Ribbons: Ballet Lace – AlterEgo  ((Add-on for Slink High Feet!))
Earrings: Valencia Earrings – Maxi Gossamer
Necklace: Not Granny’s Necklace – a m o r o u s
Engagement Ring: Devotion (White Gold) – Earthstones  ((outer stones color change!))

Poses: various from PosESioN

Location: Solace of Submission D/s Academy (Top of Waterfall)

Blogging Tune: “Alexithymia” – Anberlin

4 thoughts on “There’s More to Living Than Being Alive…

  1. another epic post…and… interesting to know how the name of that condition (i do have myself) is so similar to my RL first name … I truly do love your blog and it´s so refreshing to have something to read …more than the stylecard *chuckles*

    • Thank you! I just kept giggling everytime I saw “First-Time” in there… I can’t be first-time forever! Especially coming up on being a model for 2 years now. Lol.

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