Lay me down in darkness
Tell me what you see
Love is where the heart is
Show me I’m the one, Tell me I’m the one that You need…
Alright. I’ve been REALLY into hats and headpieces and other such creative forms of expression that you can wear on your head ever since my first serious gacha event that I went to… The Secret Affair, which was themed to Game of Thrones. Now, I’ve never really WATCHED Game of Thrones… like… ever… however, the Alchemy headdresses (particularly Hear Me Roar) and the Ultra Rare headdress that came with the Aisling set just completely floored me. I used to hate hats and other things like that, because I hated editing them around my hair.
But after seeing what finely crafted hats and headpieces look like… totally worth finding the hair to work with it when I’m in the mood for it.
Ever since then, I’ve scoured gacha events looking for creators like Aisling, Alchemy, Luas, May’s Soul, MeshedUp and others who put out sets with amazing headpieces. Most of the time, unless I really like the full set, I don’t care if I complete the set… I just want the hat/headpiece. Lol.
And then I started to seek out other creators that I loved to see what sort of headpieces they made… Finesmith is one I’m totally guilty of buying from several times when I was in the mood for a headpiece. Yula’s really made all sorts from simple to complex, light to dark, free-spirited boehmian to high-fashion haute couture. I can normally find whatever I need there, and she’s usually where I start.
So OF COURSE I had to go to the Art in Hats event and look at the hats and headpieces she’d created. With Fashion For Life closing, I wanted to blog a gorgeous creation from Miamai and I needed the perfect hat/headpiece for it. Finesmith never fails to deliver.
I’ve been totally frustrated during this Fashion For Life blogging process, because there’s a jewelry set I’ve REALLY wanted to blog, but until unboxing this Miamai dress, I hadn’t found a good color scheme to match the jewelry set from Moondance Boutique. And while looking at the notecard, I’ve seen that I’m supposed to be able to click the necklace to change the colors of the jewelry set, I couldn’t seem to get the thing to work. I’m sure there’s some simple step I’m missing and its entirely operator error on my part… lol. I think I’ve seen other FFL bloggers change the colors, so I’m sure it’s just med fog for me.
There are days when I’m not smarter than the technology I’m trying to operate. It’s totally normal. But yay! I found a dress to blog the jewelry with! So it might be ‘late’… i.e. the last day of Fashion For Life, but I did it darn it! *Giggles*
Sorry… it’s the first day I haven’t felt really nauseous for most of the day, so I’m overly excited.
For those who haven’t really followed my story, last week, I went to the doctor and I was diagnosed with Myelodysplastic Syndrome… sometimes shortened to Myelodysplasia… otherwise known as pre-leukemia. It was what my grandfather had… and so I really wasn’t surprised. Apparently genetics and environment play a part in this stuff, so the fact that my grandfather had it made sense that I did. My doctors agreed that they want to do more ‘aggressive’ chemotherapy, by combining two of the common chemo drugs to try and combat the syndrome. I have a higher risk of more serious side effects this way, but I also have a higher chance of going into remission. I could’ve opted for lower doses of one of the drugs and prolonged the inevitable, but I would’ve had a lower chance of actually reaching remission.
Being 24 years old, I’d like to try for remission as much as I can… even if the whole things scares the living daylights out of me.
My first treatment was this past Tuesday and… Christ. I hate throwing up anyway… but the nausea is ridiculous. I’m told, though, that if you don’t sleep at least 7-8 hours the night before your treatment, that you have a higher chance of being sick for longer afterwards. In my anxiety dreading what was going on, I might’ve been sent to bed in enough time to get 7-8 hours of sleep, but I’d be shocked if I got 5. Tossing and turning… crying… trying to ward off panic attacks. Normally I’d hate to admit this stuff, since normally I would consider it a sign of weakness… but as I’m slowly starting to learn the hard way, it is perfectly normal and perfectly acceptable to be scared out of your mind.
Some of the strongest people I know have gone through this… and were scared. My own grandfather gave up. It was too much for him. But he was older and was just… done. He’d had a full, wonderful life. Me? Lord, I’m 24 years old. I’m scared as hell!
I’m starting to feel a bit more normal today… able to stomach more than peanut butter sandwiches and raspberry tea… lol. I was lectured about needing to eat, even when I don’t feel like I can/need to. I’m still really bad at that part. Mostly because I’m just afraid to get nauseous and sick again.
Have I mentioned I REALLY hate getting physically ill?
So… yeah… to the Designer who insinuated at the beginning of Fashion For Life that myself and a few others don’t care about cancer patients… I would advise you to figure out who you’re actually talking to before making accusations like that. I would like to think that I care for myself. And I would like to think that I cared for my godparents, my aunt, my grandfather… I’d even like to think that I care for my step-father. Caring for people is what I DO. (Which is another reason why this sucks so much for me… learning how to ask for help…)
This is my story. This is part of Why I Relay.
*~* You Gotta Walk A Mile To Get Outta My Head… *~*
Skin: Sigrid (January; Ginger Brows; Cleavage) – Glance Skins
Eyes: Promise Eyes (Apex) – IKON
Hair: Honey (Reds w/ Roots) – Truth Hair ** Recent Release! **
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier (hands): Autumn Nights Set (Purple) – Nailed It
Gown: Shae Gown – Miamai @ Fashion For Life ** closes @ midnight SLT! **
Jewelry: Sayuri Jewelry Set – Moondance Boutique @ Fashion For Life **closes @ midnight SLT! **
* Full set includes Necklace, Earrings, Bracelets, Rings, Prim Nails, & Slink attachment nails for Elegance 1 hands
Headdress: Piece of Heaven – Finesmith @ Art in Hats
Poses: various from Agapee
Location: Dance Gardens of Gor
Blogging Tune: “Lay Me Down” – Avicii Ft. Adam Lambert